Musings

January 2007: Back to the Beginning

Welcome to the new site and a New Year. Many of you have followed along with me on my journey toward artistic autonomy on MortalMom.com. I won't say that Mortal Mom has ended --in the way that all mortal things are apt to do-- but that site, like its author, has evolved, giving way to other ventures. I invite you to explore this new purple space. Wipe your boots on the welcome mat, and join me for a cup of coffee.

If you followed Mortal Mom, you may think--It's about time! I know I have been lax about updating: my last weblog entry was dated April 2006. It isn't that I didn't want to update--but an extraordinary thing happened in April: I decided to leave the company where I worked for 15 years as a fabric designer. I made the decision while sitting on a rock pile in the woods while overseeing a group of 5th graders (my son included) at a school environmental experience. We had hiked up the mountain to reach this huge pile of boulders punctuated with a courageous tree or two. I sat on that pile and wrote/sketched in my journal for three hours as wave after wave of kids came to scramble on the rocks beside me. I wrote about the fact that the fabric industry had been sluggish and that my job was becoming tedious. I reveled in the notion that my novel would finally be arriving on the book shelves in 2007. I wrote about my family, how our kids were getting older and (SURPRISE!) requiring more of our time, not less-- as parents with small children might suppose. I sketched out visions of paintings that would probably go unpainted and thought about the book I was supposed to be revising for the fourth time. Something in my life and schedule had to give. What I needed to sacrifice became more clear to me as I poured my feelings out onto the paper with remarkable flow. It was as if opened a vein, and I admit, I felt a little dizzy when I stood up after sitting on that rock all afternoon. I couldn't decide if I felt faint or giddy or both. One thing was for certain. With the sun sinking, I hiked down from the mountain knowing that I was finally ready to take off the shackles of employment and trust the talents I had been cultivating for so long in my ever-shrinking free time.

I am part of a family, so I this is not a step I could take alone. The following week, I met my husband for lunch and told him what I wanted to do. It was not a shock. I had been talking about this eventuality for a long time. And the fact that I didn't say, “I'm quitting tomorrow,” gave him time to get used to the idea. I thought I would have to deliver more of a sales pitch, but Mark was supportive, immediately. We figured out an exit strategy that including waiting to give notice until closer to my departure date of August 18th. In the meantime, I prepared myself for self-employment. I cleaned up my studio/office and bought supplies. I listened to meditations (for encouragement) and made itineraries for the day when my hours would be my own. I went to the doctor and dentist before my insurance switched. Battling against thoughts of future scarcity, I stocked my wine fridge and my freezer. I ordered a coffee maker and bought a pair of slippers. Last, but not least, I planned a party!

Though I was busy, I could not chart my doings on my website. I was so excited about the changes that would be taking place, but I could not tell the world until I handed in my resignation. And, too, knowing I would be starting a new chapter in my life, I realized that I'd want to create a whole new website to celebrate.

This website is a realization of the sketches, notes, and plans I made on the mountain--an extension of the promise to re-vision my life. Above all, I knew I wanted to have a simple, clean site to showcase my writing and my artwork. This objective is different and more self-serving than my goal for Mortalmom.com. I designed that site to champion (and empathize with) working mothers who, like me, had artistic aspirations and little time in which to fulfill them. Mortal Mom ran with the slogan, “Surrender the need to be perfect~Step into your dreams~Journey with me.” While my focus has now shifted to that of marketing myself (Alas, dreams and art supplies still require money!), it is my hope that this site can develop into a place where others who share the impulse to be creative can compare notes and inspire one another.

I will update this page on a monthly basis and eventually add a comments section to further the dialog. So bookmark this page, and check back often.  It's going to be a good year.